08:38:57 am on
Monday 15 Jul 2024

Air Conditioning
Matt Seinberg

I am a big fan of air conditioning (AC), the colder the better. As soon as I get into my car in the summer, the AC is blasting out at 62 degrees with the fan cranked up. Of course whenever my wife or kids are with me, they are always to cold, and I have to put it up to 70 with the fan on low. I've tried to explain that whoever is driving controls certain things, like the AC and radio.

In the Northeast, we need the AC for four or five months.

We only get to use the AC, in the Northeast, for maybe four or five months of the year, starting in May, maybe, and ending sometime in September. This year we didn't need it until June, which is when I took off the outside covers.

Melissa has the best window AC, a nice little Panasonic unit that has all digital controls, including a timer, temperature and remote control. The living room AC is the biggest in the house at 30,000 BTU and it has digital controls. If we close all the doors in the hallway, the kitchen, dining room and living get very comfortable, very fast.

The AC in the master bedroom has to be roughly twelve years old; it's quite noisy. It has an Energy Saver switch, so the fan and compressor shut off at the same time. Michelle's AC is the oldest in the house; I just had to get a new filter for it.

What a production, buying a new AC filter. On the first website, I found, the filter was $29.99 plus shipping. On the second, it was $15.69 as well as shipping; I ordered it. An hour later, I get an email; it was out stock and here's your refund.

On a third website, the filter was only $7.59.

The next day I find yet another website; here it was only $7.59 plus shipping! I call, get a very nice woman on the phone; she tells me it will be at the house the next day. Do you see what happens when you let your fingers do the walking?

When it arrives, I try to install it in the AC. It won't go in properly. I compare it to mine, and it's the same. I try to put it in my room and it's bending. I take the grill off my AC and it goes in fine.

I put mine in Michelle's room and it goes in fine. Michelle says it still isn't cold in her room. I'll check it out when I'm done here.

My plan is next year to get a new AC for my room that's much quieter so my wife won't complain, put mine in Michelle's room and get rid of hers. That has to be at least eighteen years old.

Marcy is going through "the eternal summer." I laughed when I first heard that expression for menopause. Wouldn’t womenopause be a better name?

She gets hot flashes that make her crazy; in turn she makes me crazy. One minute she tells me to turn the AC up and put on the fan. The next minute she says turn down the AC and turn off the fan. By the third request, I just leave everything where they are. Why should I suffer because of the eternal summer?

Central air is a blessing, and my home is perfect to install it because we have an attic to run all the ductwork. Alas, my electrical panel would handle the extra load; I'd have to upgrade the panel to put in central AC. The other problem is the budget to install it or lack of one.

Central is best because it can be zoned.

You never hear anything from a central AC unit since it's outside; zoning is possible, too, which you can't do with window units. Melissa only has one window in her room, so in the summer it's closed because of the AC.

I can't speak for the people in the hot states like Florida, Texas, Louisiana and Arizona where central AC is necessary. You can bake if you step outside on a hot day.

I'll close by stating I love AC and damn the torpedoes to anyone who gets in my way with it. I'd rather be cold than hot and sweaty any day.


Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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