The Cat Wins
AJ Robinson

Once, again, Juliet has gotten into a fight with one of the cats in our complex and lost. I wasn’t present for the “fisticuffs,� but my wife related the particulars, and it is quite the tale.

Jo took Juliet for a walk, and they eventually came to one of the benches that dot the inner area of the apartment complex. Jo paused there to rest and let Juliet sniff around, which she did. A slight movement off to Jo’s left, Juliet was on her right, caught her attention. It was one of the neighbourhood cats.

Her first thought was that the cat was going to do what the cats always did: run for the nearest bush to lead Juliet on a merry chase. The outcome was nearly always the same; the cat would jump up on a limb, deck or porch. Juliet abandoned, on the ground, spun and raced about in a desperate search for her nemesis. All the while, she was barking her fool head off.

At this point, Juliet had yet to see the cat. Jo waited to see how things played out. Boy was she in for a surprise! Typically, the cat would move slowly and cautiously, keeping a sharp eye on Juliet, and wait for exactly the right moment to make the “big reveal.� This time however, the cat did not run away; it zipped right up to Juliet to stand literally nose to nose with her, “got in her face,� as the saying goes. After that, it was boppity-boppity bap, boppity-boppity bap; the cat gave Juliet the old one-two to the face three times in rapid succession. Her little paws smacked and punched at Juliet’s long snout so quickly that Juliet didn’t even have time to react. After that, the cat turned and raced for the hills, so to speak, she climbed a nearby tree.

As for Juliet, she just stood there like a statue, caught off-guard, totally. She truly didn’t know what to do. One of the cats had dared to strike her. Oh, that was such an insult! For her part, Jo sat there and lost it; she was laughing so hard it almost hurt. Finally, one of the cats had stood up to Juliet. Casting her eyes about, Jo saw the cat; she was about halfway up the tree – just sort of hanging there. Juliet finally got her thoughts pulled together and did what she always did: took off after the feline offender. Of course, this consisted of racing around and around the trunk of the tree and barking hysterically.

The cat released one of her claws from the bark and sort of “pumped� her paw up and down. Jo couldn’t swear to it, but it sure looked as if the cat was doing a “fist pump� and saying, “Woo-whoo, yes, I did it! I finally taught that damn dog about the top cat around here.�

Oh, if only Jo had had a video camera set up and ready to capture the entire episode! Myself, I think we would have won first prize on that funny video show.