04:00:03 pm on
Saturday 22 Jun 2024

Summer Gardening
Matt Seinberg

My wife likes to grow vegetables and flowers when summer rolls around. She plants different types of flowers in the front beds, and in pots in the backyard. In the back beds by the house, she likes to plant all sorts of vegetables, including lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers.

I have no innate desire to garden.

I on the other hand have no desire to anything like that. I'll make sure the sprinklers are ready, and instruct the gardener what to do. Marcy had bought some topsoil, and there was no way I was putting it out in the beds with my bad back. My friend Charlie, who told me about the landscaper, told me that he does stuff like that without charging extra!

I had Michelle's boyfriend bring the bags out from the garage and put them outside, and I texted the landscaper on where they needed to go. No problem, he said, and the front beds look much better filled in. A couple of spots could use a couple more bags though.

Last week he put some in the back beds, and Marcy is going to do some planting tomorrow. As long as I don't have to put anything down, I'm happy.

I stopped at Lowe's on the way home from work, and picked up five bags of red mulch for $10. What a deal! They have this promotion every Memorial Day, and last year I think I bought 10 bags. The main use for them this year is for behind and on the side of the garage. I already had Michelle and her boyfriend pull out all the big weeds. I have to put down the weed killer, and have them put down the mulch.

A seven-foot weed.

Last year, we had a 7-foot weed growing on the side of the garage, and I finally got tired of seeing that monster, so I finally pulled it out. Only Michelle helped me last year. This year, it's the two of them doing the heavy work. If I even tried to do it, I'd end up flat on my aching back in bed for a week. I'm not even going to take that chance.

Once that is completed, the rest of the mulch goes under the lonely tree in the other side of the yard. I think next year we'll pull it out and put something nicer in.

Have you even seen the DIY show "Yard Crashers?" Some of those yards are my dream yard, and I'd give anything to be on that show. While my backyard is big, it's very boring. We used to have a swing set, but we took that down 2 years ago and gave it to a former co-worker for her young daughter to enjoy.

Now it's just a large expanse of grass, with a patio next to the garage. I'd love an outdoor kitchen, some sort of water feature and a shaded area to relax with a nice book on a comfortable lounge chair. These types of projects take oodles of money that I don't have, so I'll just keep dreaming.

Maybe the one thing I will do is take the grills off the outdoor speakers again and paint them. They've gotten a bit rusty, and a new coat of paint is just the thing to bring them back to life. Next winter I'll take them off the garage, which I didn't do last year.

I do have a pop up canopy, but it takes two people to put it up and take it down, and it can't stay up all the time. I learned that the hard way, two years ago; I left one outside and a windstorm destroyed it. I didn't get out fast enough to take it down.

I made a successful warranty claim.

The good news is that I made a warranty claim. I ended up getting brand new one, that was even better than the original. Sometimes it pays to ask for something better.

Have a great summer and don't get hurt gardening!


Matt Seinberg lives on Long Island, a few minutes east of New York City. He looks at everything around him and notices much. Somewhat less cynical than dyed in the wool New Yorkers, Seinberg believes those who don't see what he does like reading about what he sees and what it means to him. Seinberg columns revel in the silly little things of life and laughter as well as much well-directed anger at inept, foolish public officials. Mostly, Seinberg writes for those who laugh easily at their own foibles as well as those of others.

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